Tuesday, February 3, 2009

Shrink Wrap

Since 2008 was a year of physical adjustments, I felt it best to start off 2009, with a brief reassessment of the meds that stave off the genetic self-destructive tendencies dispersed fairly linearly, with no preference to gender, through my maternal generations. Hey, Obama's in charge; it's got to be good news... right?
Okay, so that's what I'm telling you. What I hoped to prove, under the tutelage of a lovely, bright, functioning friend (who also answers to former fiance of my beau, and who I now share documentation shelf space with by the same doctor~ she even gets a nod as my referral) was that I do, indeed, have ADD tendencies and would benefit from this elixir (prescribed) that affords not only focus, but also the added benefit of weight loss. Probably, thus just proving my case to all of you that I needed that reassessment~ in spades.
Be careful what you wish for...
I, instead, just orally committed (!) to being not only a recipient, but also a carrier, of some issues I'm sure you'll discover about me, and will now be taking the same medication as my 14 year old son! How did this happen? I studied. I researched. I consulted with experts... at least experts in my circle. And I even used Wikipedia! Lol!
Is it not enough that I have inherited these 'swings,' but also have the guilt and fallout of having passed them on, or at least passed them through me, to my son~ in whom it manifests it's symptoms so differently. (I should be grateful I don't have the desire to hit something~ or someone, I guess?...)
What I really want to share, despite this (too) revealing posting, is that while waiting for the doctor to conduct this meeting~ this reveal, this tenuous walk down through familial tragedies, some averted, some not, while I sat on a too soft couch~ clearly on a level far beneath his positioning~ was this... in this tidy, ordered, professional office... on the floor, behind a stack of trade journals juxtaposed beneath a massive desk, was a box of Girl Scout cookies peeking out. And what occurred to me is that we all control what we want others to see about us, and we hide~ or at least attempt to hide~ from others all that is us. Even those in the field; those we pay to expose our vulnerabilities and 'treat' them~ pun intended.
And what gave me hope is that I don't feel compelled anymore to hide parts of me that others might judge. And that self reveal was worth the copay.

For the record, they were Tag-a-Longs, not a personal favorite. I would've gone for the Thin Mints... and I would've offered to share.


wrytir said...

I do love that you're so open, Linda! Your writing is intriguing to me. I just, automatically, respect any and everything you're going to say before I've read a word.

Linda said...

...and,I'd be happy to refer you to the same doctor and know that he's accepting new patients~ or at least interesting specimens! Lol!
I'm terrified and honored that you respect what I have to say...
Ah, the pressures of expectation. :) Thanks for enthusiastically reading me. Always love the feedback.

Marlis said...

Love the 'thin" mints observation for ohsomany reasons. (Can the nut roll far from the bush?) Crazy 'boutcha (there's that pesky word again). A therapeutic but not overbearing or in any way riddled with expectations hug. Mom